this time I was stuck far too long. months this time. I dunno what I’ve *done* for the past 4+ months.
I stopped seeing my psychiatrist and therapist around thanksgiving and stepped off of my medication on my own. neither my psychiatrist nor the mental health center ever called to check in / find out why I never scheduled more appointments.
but i think i was real down before that too. honestly, I don’t think I ever rebounded from the move to Philly, not all the way at least. i don’t have roots yet.
I was telling an old friend about it, and they said that I seemed good from social media. i didn’t know what to say. Of course it’s good on social media (my real real account, at least). Speaking of…I feel that most of my time has been sucked into my phone, switching between twitter, instagram, facebook, and the new york times – over and over and over and over.
Sleeping, or rather staying in bed, consumed several more hours than usual. 10-12 hours per day. easy. getting out of bed is so hard. maybe because I don’t know what I’m going to do wtih my waking hours and I’m so pissed and anxious about WASTING my time, not doing anything productive, not making anything, not working on my paid freelance projects, not doing SHIT.
So this is the action that breaks the cycle. This is the blog post that turns my life around – or at least signals that my life is turning around. I’m making the comeback.
I’ll be up here a lot more often.